Lisa’s mum of boys musings

When I was younger I could never picture myself as a mother. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t conjure up the image of me with children. Then after being with my partner for 11 years (engaged for nearly 10 of those years) we decided to get married. Once married it was like a switch flipped in my mind and I could suddenly picture me, my husband and two children (one boy and one girl). Little did I realise that I would be a mum of boys.

My now nearly 4 year old gave me a rocky introduction to motherhood. Arriving 10 weeks early by an emergency c-section was not how I’d imagined I would be bringing my baby into the world. I was also completely unprepared for the highs and lows of life on the neonatal unit.

My first chuckle and being glad I was mum to a boy was when the nurses needed a urine sample from my little boy. No matter what they did they couldn’t get the sample they needed. I told them to leave me the pot. I was actually amazed they couldn’t get the sample as my son was getting quite the reputation for tinkling as soon as his nappy was opened but we were all usually too slow and it went all over the incubator.

Prepared with the sample pot. I opened his nappy and a few seconds later the fountain that only boys can make made the perfect arc into the pot. This earnt me a round of applause! I can only imagine but I think having a girl this task might have been a little trickier to do.

Baby's hand in adults hand. Photography credit: Liane Metzler
Baby’s hand in adults hand. Photography credit: Liane Metzler

It quickly became apparent that boys have less choice when it comes to clothes.

For the first 9 months to a year my little boy was very well catered for with clothes. Family and friends had bought him so many that I didn’t need to set foot near a clothes department until he was about 1. It became really apparent that family and friends had done an outstanding job at finding so many gorgeous outfits. No matter where I go the choices for boys clothes are no where near as vast as the choices for girls. This is probably one of my few gripes of being a mum of boys.

General day to day

My second baby boy is only 5 months old but you can already see his little face light up when he sees his big brother playing with noisy toys or playing silly games with his dad. My oldest is quite the stereotype. He loves playing ball, noisy games, cars banging and crashing, being outdoors and getting muddy. He regularly has a new bruise or scrape from something he has tried to climb.

Thinking about how tough his start to life was I absolutely love seeing him so inquisitive about life and getting stuck in. Don’t get me wrong it can be frustrating when he runs into the garden to jump in a muddy puddle just as your about to leave for nursery. I wouldn’t have it any other way though.

I’m looking forward to my 2 boys getting up to mischief together in a few years time. I can already imagine the trouble they will cause and the cheeky smiles that will make me laugh instead of shout. I’m not naïve though I’m definitely expecting arguments and tantrums too, haha!

My conclusion to being a mum of boys is quite simply that I love it!

Stacey’s mum of boys musings

Any mum of same sex children will probably have experienced this too but as a mum of 4 boys I regularly get comments like:

Ahh 4 boys wouldn’t you have liked a girl? Wow I bet you have your hands full with 4 boys do you wish you had girls? Oh gosh surrounded by boys, you need a girl now. Ahh no pink for you that’s a shame. Ahh 1 of each would have been nicer another boy?!?!? Can’t you have girls? Oh it will be horrible when they are older because boys leave their mums

The list could go on and it really grinds my gear (to put it politely)

Yes I have 4 boys, yes I do have my hands full, yes my house is full of cars and footballs and wrestlers and computer games. Trainers and tracksuits, nerf gun wars and dinosaurs, mud, mess, smelly farts and bogies and noise oh my goodness soooo much noise!

There is no pink or pretty bows, no flowery or sparkly outfits, no dolls or prams or princesses. I may not get mother daughter shopping trips or pamper days.

But do you know what I do get?????

I get to see rough and tumble and mischievousness quickly turn into love and protection and responsibility. The snuggliest of hugs and the sloppiest of kisses. I get tonnes of laughs on a regular basis. See my little tiny boys grow into handsome strong men. I get to be the most important girl in these boys’ lives (for now) and I get to be the comfort and safe place in our masculine world.

Young boy laughing and holding a book. Photography credit: Ben White
Young boy laughing and holding a book. Photography credit: Ben White

Yes they may fly the nest when they are older but I hope I’ve done a good enough job, to ensure they don’t ‘forget’ me and when they do have families of their own, whatever that may look like, I’ll take pride in the fact, I helped them become the loving, kind and respectful partners and possibly fathers, they are then and enjoy the bond I have with my potential daughters in law too.

My boys ooooze love and I’m always on the receiving end of it. I don’t NEED a girl and its definitely not a shame we have all boys. Like Lisa I’m proud to be an all boy mama and wouldn’t change any of it accept maybe the noise level occasionally haha!

Viv Guy – mum of girls

As I sit there sleep deprived bouncing one tired, spotty 2 year old on one knee and trying to be still and relaxed with my other leg for my other super spotty 11 month old I realise this is the hardest moment I have faced as a mum to 2 small people thus far. Yep, if you hadn’t guessed, it was chicken pox.

Everyone told me having 2 children with not much of an age gap would be hell, but you know what, I actually find I’m a calmer, more fun mum now because all that first time mum worry has gone and you realise that babies and toddlers are freaking waaaay more resilient than we actually think when our first tiny person arrives in the world! Aside from that horrendous month of chick pox in 2019, I have to say I love having 2 girls (even if I haven’t had a full nights sleep in over 4 years!!!).

I’m the middle of 3 girls so always figured I’d be ok with girls….I mean aside from having the equivalent of a teenager already with my 4 year old it’s pretty good. I do face huge mum guilt juggling work, domestic life and mum duties, but I know I’m not alone in this feeling, I just try to make sure my mum time is really focused on doing really interactive things together as much as possible (yeah I definitely fail and Disney channel is definitely my saviour at times….but I do try!).

Siblings reading a book together. Photography credit: Ben White
Siblings reading a book together. Photography credit: Ben White

So what are the pro’s of having 2 girls? Here goes:

1. Handing down clothes. Love this upcycling
2. Sharing toys…they love playing makeup, dressing up, hide and seek and more together
3. They learn from each other, sharing, kindness, consideration. My eldest has become a really caring 4 year old and really looks after the 2 year olds at nursery now guiding them on what to do. I absolutely believe this is the impact of having a little sister.
4. Laughter – there is nothing like listening to them both chatting away and then laughing together as they chase each other around the house and garden. It’s so nice to see them playing together.
5. Double hugs. Call me sappy but there’s nothing better than 2 little people running to greet you at the door and launching themselves on you telling you they missed you. As a true dog lover it hands down beats the doggy tail beating, happy dance welcome home!

So, for everyone who said it would be hard. Life I what you make it. Yes there a freaking tough days when I long to be lying having a massage and having a day in a spa reading a book in peace, but when you see your amazing humans that you are raising developing and flourishing each and every day it’s an awesome feeling.

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