There is absolutely no denying that lockdown life has been tough! At the start it felt like a bit of a novelty and the thought of being home for a few weeks sounded relaxing. I had visions of smashing my ‘to do’ list. Getting fit, eating healthily and having an incredibly clean home.

Anyone else have the complete opposite happen?

I was still working full time when lockdown started. My work place had already implemented that staff work from home where possible. Being heavily pregnant this suited me just fine! My son was with his childminder so I was able to get the things I needed doing done. Then lockdown was enforced and I had my little boy home with me while I worked. He is a very active 3 year old and working suddenly became a challenge.

Luckily I work with a great bunch of people and my son became part of team calls, he would join in by saying hello to everyone and loved seeing himself on camera. There were a lot of calls where I remained on mute though. If only the other people on the calls could hear the demands of my three year old! Mummy I’ve had a wee/poo. I want a snack now. Mummy come with me. I want XYZ Mummy. Mummy come play. Mummy I need you NOW!

C-section all booked in

I had a work free week the week before my c-section date. It was still a hard week but it was a relief to not have to do the day job as well as look after my little boy. Lockdown life was becoming harder. Trying to explain to a three year old why his life had changed over night was a challenge. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t go to his grandparents, nursery, the childminders, playgroups, soft play centres, the park play area, the beach etc.

His whole world had changed and he was stuck at home with Mummy and only allowed out for an hour a day. I was struggling with my bump by this point to do all the things he wanted to do which was frustrating for him. His world was centred around a daily visit to the park to walk the dog. Any day he didn’t get to go he was devastated. He would break down in tears and it was heart breaking to see how much this one hour had come to mean.

Cesarean Birth -  Image Courtesy of Jonathan Borba
Cesarean Birth – Image Courtesy of Jonathan Borba

My c-section went ahead and I was home the next day. I remember from my first section that I was limited on what I could do but I hadn’t realised what sort of impact it would have this time round. My little boy understood that mummy had a poorly tummy but didn’t always remember. The village that you rely on when you have children suddenly wasn’t allowed to help. Lockdown life was beginning to feel a new kind of hard. The recovery has been slow and I am still not there yet more than seven weeks later.

It can’t all be bad

If I let myself dwell on the negatives of lockdown life I think I would spiral into a depression. It’s a lot harder to look for the positives but lockdown has taught me to appreciate the things I took for granted. I appreciate all the freedom I had prior to this pandemic and crave that normality like everyone else.

There have been some positives though. I have enjoyed spending time with my son, he is a funny and very loving little boy. I have enjoyed having so much uninterrupted one to one time with my new born baby. The house has had a few messy days that no one has seen but us and it was nice to have a day or two off from cleaning. There have been a lot of cuddles which have been so lovely and needed (even the dog has been joining in on this one).

Mum cuddling her son. Photography credit Jordan Whitt
Mum cuddling her son. Photography credit Jordan Whitt

So while COVID-19 has taken an incredible amount away from us there have been a few positives from the situation we find ourselves in. My house is a work in progress to becoming spotless, I still need to start that diet and as soon as I have recovered I am still, promising myself I will exercise and improve my fitness levels.

I think the most important lesson of lockdown life is to be kind to yourself.

Did you see…

Did you see our last blog on Living with a little one with Chronic Lung Disease

If you are struggling with lockdown please reach out to somewhere like Minds Matter